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Monday, 25 November 2013

The first thing you realise about being a dad

After the epic labour, H was wheeled away and I was left with C for the first time. With an oversized beanie on he looked like a gangster rapper or something, and the midwife said I should get him dressed.



I was terrified. I held the little white vest and he lay there bawling. I was worried I would break his arm or something, he was so little, and new, I didn't want to do it in case I got it wrong.

The first thing you realise about being a dad is fear: there is a baby who needs your protection (and this includes warmth) and I was scared because I didn't know how to dress him. Naturally the midwife put his vest on with effortless ease and then showed me how to put his babygrow on. It took me quite a while to do it but I felt pride when I managed to close the final popper.

I was fearful because there was a huge outpouring of love for this baby, realising he was mine to look after and nurture and even after I managed to dress him he was still crying. Lesson number two of new dad school was to try to settle this baby!

Instinct kicked in and I came up with a song about a monkey in a tree and I cradled him, swaying and listening to his weak cries and realising yet again that I would do anything within my power to protect him for the rest of my days.

I thought to myself:
I can do this...


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